Inner Peace

By following simple advice heard on the Dr. Phil show, you too can find
inner peace.
Dr Phil proclaimed, "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the
things you have started and have never finished."
So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn't
finished, and before leaving the house this morning,
I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of White Zinfandel,
a bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream, a bottle of Kahula,
a package of Oreos, the remainder of my old Prozac prescription,
the rest of the cheesecake, some Doritos, and a box of chocolates.
You have no idea how freaking good I feel right now.
Please pass this on to those whom you think might be in need of inner peace.